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6 Tips to Cope with Infertility

Team AckoFeb 8, 2024

In most communities, the innate need to have children is instilled at a very early age, often with a sense of urgency from people who will remind you that the clock is ticking.

Contents

1. You need to let yourself grieve
2. Talk to your partner
3. Acknowledge how you feel
4. Know your options
5. Find ways to reduce stress
6. Maintain a loving connection with your partner

In such an environment, infertility can be very difficult to deal with. You may experience social pressure or judgment from well-meaning friends and family members. Many of them will offer tips that are not really helpful or even suggest that you are somehow to blame.

Coming to your own emotions, you may be overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, emptiness, or failure that could negatively impact both your quality of life and your relationship.

However, take heart, as there are ways to reduce your turmoil. Here are some helpful tips to guide you through this tough time.

1. You need to let yourself grieve

Repeated attempts at conception or multiple miscarriages can take a heavy toll. Even though you try not to give up hope, your unconscious mind has already begun grieving for the biological child you have not had. Unresolved grief can be a major source of stress, and it is advisable to allow yourself a period of mourning in order to feel whole again. You can try different things like talking to your partner or a close friend, or writing down your feelings. The key is to acknowledge and work through your grief, which is the first step in letting it go.

2. Talk to your partner

It is crucial to keep open communication with your partner. Infertility can deeply affect a marriage, sprouting feelings of inadequacy, passive resentment, sexual strain, and stress between the couple. Additionally, men and women often respond differently to a crisis such as this; men tend to become more emotionally distant, whereas women are more openly distressed.

If you feel that the stress of infertility is leading to distance between you and your partner, counselling is a good option. You need to remain a strong team during this difficult time, and a good counsellor can help. Make sure you constantly share your feelings with each other in a positive and open manner.

3. Acknowledge how you feel

Remember, the emotions associated with infertility are not caused by one single issue. They are caused by a juxtaposition of several complex feelings. What helps is to zero in and identify the emotions you are feeling. These could include feelings of failure or inadequacy, loss, guilt, fear of being judged, shame, anger, or fear of rejection or abandonment.

Once you have identified your feelings, try to rationalize what those feelings are about, where they are coming from, and towards whom those fears are directed. By asking yourself these questions, you will be able to start understanding these emotions and become more accepting of them, which is the first step to overcoming such feelings.

4. Know your options

A large part of the struggle to cope with infertility is the feeling of powerlessness and being able to decide what to do next. The best thing to do is to fully comprehend what your infertility options are by talking to the right specialists who can guide you. Once you have a clear idea about what steps you can take, it will help you be more optimistic about where you are currently at in your infertility process.

5. Find ways to reduce stress

We know that infertility and its associated processes are incredibly stressful. Thus it is vital to identify healthy ways to deal with it. You can try meditation, breathing, yoga, or even joining a support group. Don’t forget to keep looking after and loving yourself. Focus on exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, and indulging yourself once in a while, like having a spa day or a night out.

6. Maintain a loving connection with your partner

Amidst all the infertility stress, it is unfortunately all too easy to drift apart in a relationship. Focus on reconnecting with your partner by re-establishing intimacy in both nonsexual and sensual ways. Spend quality time together doing things you both enjoy, like going for a walk or a movie, giving each other back rubs or massages, or having romantic dinners at your favourite restaurant. Take a trip together or keep it simple, like surprising him or her with their favourite ice cream or a small gift. Strengthening your togetherness will go a long way in helping you both cope during this difficult time.

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Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only, based on industry experience and secondary sources. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified expert for health or insurance-related decisions. Content is subject to change, refer to current policy wordings for specific ACKO details.

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